That Feeling When Talking to People Is Just... Mendokusai

That feeling when you dodge your neighbor in the hall because small talk feels like too much work? Turns out it's a trap.

The Mendokusai Spiral

Let’s be real, talking to people can be exhausting. Especially here. You have to worry about their expression, figure out the right words, make sure you’re not being *too* direct, not being *too* vague, and god forbid, using the wrong level of keigo.

Sometimes, just popping on your headphones and pretending you don’t see anyone on the train platform is an act of self-preservation. A psychiatrist named Dr. Yuuki Yu says that's totally fine once in a while. But when “I’ll just skip it today” becomes your default setting, that’s when things get weird.

Your Brain in a Bubble

When you stop talking to people, all your thoughts get trapped inside your own head. There’s no one to offer another perspective, no one to laugh and tell you you’re overthinking it. It’s what the doc calls a lack of “emotional ventilation.”

That tiny thing you messed up at work? Alone, it can morph from a small slip-up into a career-ending catastrophe in your mind. You lose your calibration. You have no way of knowing if your feelings are normal or way off-base. Am I being too sensitive? Am I not taking this seriously enough? Without that reality check from a friend saying, “Dude, it’s not that deep,” your sense of proportion just sort of dissolves.

The Social Muscle Wasting Away

It turns out conversation skills are like muscles. If you don't use them, they get weak. After a while of avoiding people, you find yourself in a conversation and suddenly… you have no idea what to say. The rhythm feels off. A simple comeback that would normally pop into your head is just gone.

You start thinking, “Wow, I’m so awkward. I’m just bad at this.” But you’re not. You’re just out of practice. The thought of having to start a conversation from scratch, figuring out what to say, and keeping it going becomes so daunting that you just… don’t. Which, you know, only makes it worse.

The 'In Case of Emergency' Problem

Here’s the actually scary part. When you constantly avoid people, you make it incredibly hard to ask for help when you genuinely need it. That one friend you haven't spoken to in three months? Suddenly asking them for a huge favor feels monumentally awkward.

Your brain starts going, “When was the last time we even talked? They probably think I’m just using them. I should just handle this myself.” And you do this right when your energy and judgment are at their lowest. Being alone is fine, but being unable to call for help when you’re really struggling is a different kind of dangerous. It’s how people end up totally isolated.